Child-Focussed Mediation

Clarity Works prides itself on providing an environment that is child-focussed, helping you to remain attentive to the issues that matter.

Most children can better cope with separation if conflict is managed and their parents can work out arrangements.

Clarity Works can help you to agree on:

Arrangements for children to spend time with each parent, including holidays and special events

Health issues

Channels and methods of communication between parents and children

Involvement of other family members and people

Schooling and other activities

Parenting styles or discipline

Explanations to children about arrangements as a family

Financial support for your children

Children and young people value the opportunity to have a voice in the decision-making process.

Consultation with Children as Part of the Mediation Process

Clarity Works seeks to offer children (usually aged ten years and above) and young people the opportunity to be involved and have their voices heard directly in the mediation process in a safe, confidential and supportive environment.

It can be extremely helpful when parents are having to make decisions regarding their children that parents understand their children’s views, feelings, needs and desires. Involving children in the mediation process may be a good way to do this. Children like to be informed and they appreciate having their views and options heard, although they need to understand that they are not responsible for the overall decision.

How it Works

The child will be offered the opportunity to talk face to face with a mediator separately on the basis that what they say is completely confidential from anyone, including their parents. Strictly with the child’s permission, the mediator will then bring the child’s voice into the mediation when the parents themselves have their mediation sessions.

Participation is voluntary. Clarity Works appreciates that not all children and young people will wish to take up the opportunity to have their voice heard but the option is offered.

Principles Underpinning Consultation with children:

Children and young people aged ten and over can be offered age-appropriate information about mediation, including information about the purpose, process and delivery

Safeguarding principles will always take precedence, as is stipulated in the Children’s Act 1989

Children and young people’s involvement must always be voluntary. No meeting or other form of involvement will be imposed on those who do not want to be included

Conversations with children and young people will be undertaken by appropriately skilled mediators in a supportive, developmentally appropriate manner

Any discussions held will avoid and remove any burden of decision making from the child

Parents will be supported to listen to, understand, value and reflect on their children’s needs/views and to take them into account when making decisions for their children’s future

Any conversations with children and young people will be regarded as confidential and the nature and process of any disclosure to parents will be agreed with the child

Children and young people can be supported during the process and signposted to/offered additional help if that is needed

The mediation processes will put children and their families at the heart of the process

Consultations with a child usually last approximately 45 minutes. Siblings can be seen separately or together depending on what the children themselves prefer

Sophie, Weybridge

“Thank you so much. Prior to mediation, me and my ex could barely look at each other and would always find ways of blaming each other. We just could not agree on hardly anything to do with our boys. We were stuck in the past and how we had hurt each other in our marriage. Our mediator at Clarity Works had a way of talking to us and asking questions that would help us to discuss the issues that really mattered to both of us regarding our children. We were able to agree on arrangements for our 2 boys that have worked out best for us as parents and most of all for our boys. We are now civil to one another and realise that it is essential for the well-being for our family.”

Kunle, Woking

“I had no idea about the power of mediation and the difference it would make to me and my children’s lives both now and in the future. We are so relieved that we avoided the courts and were able to resolve our issues in a more amicable and effective way. Thank you.”

Joseph, Farnborough

“I really did not know what to expect with mediation and felt terror just thinking that I would lose out so much - my children, the family property and my financial situation. I was wrong. Mediation helped us both to understand what was possible by looking at all sorts of options to make the most of what we had to offer as parents. Don’t get me wrong, it was tough, but we worked it out together with the assistance of our mediator. I now feel relieved and know that we have made good decisions together for our family’s future.”

Valencia, Chertsey

“One of our daughters has special needs. We were able to discuss and agree in mediation how we will tackle the challenges she faces. Our mediator created an atmosphere that made me feel secure. I felt that she was sensitive to our vulnerabilities. She knew when to be tough with us, when to empathise which helped us to appreciate what challenges we were facing as individuals and as a family. She did not judge us but helped focus our minds on our children and how our separation had impacted on them. We were able to work out what we hoped for and what our concerns were as a family. We have put in place arrangements to restore our family as separated parents.”